Should You Save The Best For Last?

They say you can guess someone’s character by watching how they eat. There are those who save the best for last, some who will try a bit of everything and yet others who reach for their favourite first.

This aptly illustrates the different approaches to retirement. Are you one who:

• Compiles a bucket list with the aim to start ticking off when you retire?
• Tries to tick off items on your bucket list as you go along in life?
• Makes it a point to embark on your favourite adventure as soon as you can?

If you fall into the first group, you are one who hold off your best plans until retirement. Diligently compiling your bucket list, biding for the right time to do all the things you ever dreamt about. You have a game plan to navigate life: do well in your job, believe in delayed gratification, save diligently, accept sacrifices and look to reap bountiful harvest in retirement. Well and good, right? 

Think again.

Bucket List Experience

One of my best friends planned for her 50th birthday celebration a girls trip to Page, Arizona to tick off her bucket list sights: Antelope Canyon, Horseshoe Bend, Colorado river bank, Lake Powell and Monument Valley.

So 9 friends came together to celebrate a milestone, flying in from wherever life had scattered us over the world through the years. Not everyone knew each other but fast friendship was forged, bonded by the specialness of the occasion, daily exchange of stories and endless rounds of drinks. 

From the word go, the going was tough. We rose every morning at the crack of dawn to make it to the sights before day-time heat set in. We bumped along rugged terrain in a 4-wheel drive to get to our destination, trekked for hours on end, climbed, crawl, kayaked, abseiled down steep rock surfaces, suffered cramps, rope burns, muscle aches, abrasions and bruises. Treacherous!

Ranging in age from 40’s to mid 50’s, all of us are avid sports enthusiasts: runners, tennis and padle players, swimmers, skiers, surfers, golfers and hikers. A sporty bunch to say the least, but the physical and mental demand caught us off guard. 

We witnessed accidents and emergencies along the way. A couple fell into a gorge; a man who looked to be in his 60’s suffered heat stroke and had to be evacuated by helicopter. Another woman slipped while climbing the Lower Antelope Canyon – aptly nicknamed “The Corkscrew” for its twists and turns  – tearing the skin off her thighs in a gruesome accident. 

Despite romantic notions of such adventure trips, they are best done in the peak of physical health, when one is agile, physically fit and mentally sharp. These are definitely not trips to undertake in retirement.

So those thinking of walking parts of the Great Wall of China after you retire, reconsider!   

Delayed Gratification

Britannica defines ‘delayed gratification’ as:

The act of resisting an impulse to take an immediate reward in the hope of obtain a more-valued reward in the future.

Overwhelming the impulse to have/do something now in order to get something better later is pretty much drilled into our mindset as the way to successful life, supported by the famous social science research Marshmallow Experiment. 

Go for a 1-week visit to Japan now that it is rolling out the red carpet for tourists after 2 years of pandemic-enforced border closure? Or stick to your plan to save up the next 5 years for a big round-the-world trip?

Saving the best for last is derived from this notion of delayed gratification. The hold-out for a better eventual experience due to more (financial) resources, better planning and build-up of anticipation, is considered noble and righteous. Reeeaeaaaaaally??

A Case In Point

My grandmother was very frugal, having escaped a life of hardship in China to eke out a life with my grandfather in Singapore after 2WW. She subscribed wholeheartedly to the principle of delayed gratification, always saving the best for later. In her kitchen, we would eat apples, bananas and vegetables that are turning bad first, so we could save the nice ones for tomorrow. But by tomorrow the nicer fruit and vegetables had started to yellow and wilt too, so we never tasted the freshest stuff. 

When she passed on we found intricately embroidered tablecloths, pillowcases and handkerchiefs that were painstakingly hand-sewn. Too fancy for daily use, they were stored lovingly in her sandalwood chest, waiting for the perfect occasion. Humidity patches had stained the pristine white cotton and could not be removed due to the colourful embroidery so my mum laid them next to my grandmother for cremation. 

By waiting for the best moment, my grandmother deprived herself of the opportunity to enjoy and show off her proud handiwork.

Everything Changes

The idea that by experiencing something now takes away from future enjoyment reflects a scarcity mindset. Life, and the world, is not a zero-sum game. It is possible to enjoy now and again later.

We live in a time and world propelled by change. Everything changes over time, including ourselves and our values. What matters now may not matter as much in the future.

A better credo is to have a relative mindset instead of holding out for the big-bang occasion. Saving the best for last leads to losing out on opportunities. For example, Japan’s re-opening of its border is accompanied by great deals as the Japanese Yen slides to its lowest. It may not happen again!

Constantly giving up the now in favour of a possibly better experiences later works against happiness. We miss out surfing the crest of life, those spurts of spontaneity that add to the pulses of life. Experiences expand our horizon, help us grow and gain better understanding of ourselves, surrounding and others.

Maybe taking a year off to travel may cost a year’s earning or even a promotion. But think of the invaluable payback: exploring the world, visiting new sights, making new friends, experiencing cultures, maybe better work opportunity? Such experiences have profound impact the rest of your life so do not wait until the traditional retirement to undertake. There are more ways to retire now.

Too Late

A UCLA study showed that the postponement of indulgences until a fitting occasion can actually backfire. The more special the item/event, the more people hold out, thus increasing the chance of self-sabotage.

And what was best before may not stay best or loose its shine over time. Keeping that bottle of vintage wine or bubblies until the perfect setting may result in going past its ‘best by’ date. A pity to end in such a flat note, ruining the experience, time, money and intention. What my grandmother went through…

Living with self denial and constant sacrifices in the hope for a better tomorrow kills the joy of living. Life is best enjoyed by leaving room for serendipity and the freedom to explore the unknown and unplanned. Don’t waste it by putting off until a tomorrow

Know Your Rocks

I like the ‘rocks, pebbles and sand in a jar ’ approach to life. Once the big rocks are in place (eg: health, family, friends, dreams), let the pebbles (eg: career, hobbies, home, study) and sand (eg: travel, golf, music, party) make it full and fill it to the brim.

Keep in mind your rocks, pebbles and sand when making decisions. If making the move now inches you towards your priorities, go for it if! As long as it does not jeopardise the big rocks of your life.

Savour life like you would a delicious dish – take a bit of everything as you go along. For saving the best for last may backfire – the steak will turn cold 🙁

So what are you waiting for…get cracking on your bucket list!

Savvy Maverick

 

(Main image: Falls at Zion National Park, Utah. Karan Chawla, Unsplash)

 

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are drawn from my own experiences and do not constitute financial advice in any way whatsoever. Nothing published here constitutes an investment recommendation, nor should any data or content be relied upon for any investment activities. It is strongly recommended that independent and thorough research be undertaken before making any financial decisions, including consulting a qualified professional.